Earth energy loves to give!

Do You Do Too Much for Others?

The Equinox time is known in energy medicine as Earth energy time.  This is an Elemental rhythm of energy that carries the transitional vibrations of the change of season.  As we are now moving into our fall, we find ourselves wrapping up our busy summer activities and we are beginning to prepare ourselves for the cooler fall weather that is beginning to show itself with the chillier dew filled mornings and earlier sunsets and nightfall.

 We have been very fortunate here on the west coast of Vancouver, BC to be having a lovely late summer, but as I was taking my final walks through the forest on the September long weekend, at my cabin, I could see a lot of the maple trees were already beginning to shed their shades of sunburnt coloured leaves.  We’ve reached the time in the seasons when nature begins to give back it’s bounty to mother earth who has cared and nurtured for it all through the spring and summer.

Compassion and caring is the essence of Earth energy and people who hold this “Rhythm”, as we call it in energy medicine, as their main archetype tend to be a type of person that is all about giving to others.  They allow others to lean on them when one might be going through stressful or challenging times.  They are compelled within to uplift and promote balance and harmony in other people’s lives.  They are our peacemakers, counselors, caregivers and healers and they have great empathy and go out of their way to foster meaningful connections with others.

 On the flip side they can suffer too much for others.  Out of balance “Earths” may be viewed as the ones who always need to “fix it”. They hinder others to do things for themselves and often find themselves caught in the middle of other people’s relationships, often becoming meddling and interfering. They care too much about other’s approval of them and have a hard time experiencing themselves as distinct and separate from people they care about.  Putting everyone else’s needs before their own they begin to struggle to recognize and prioritize their own needs.  Out of balance Earths can become what is called “codependent” entwining themselves in unhealthy ways for both themselves and others with their close relationships. 

 Codependency has some key psychological characteristics:

·  Externally focusing on the opinions, expectations, attitudes, and behaviours of those outside yourself.

·  Overlooking one’s own needs to focus externally on the needs of others.

·  Suppressing your own feelings and living in a state of personal restraint with limited self-awareness of your own emotional needs. 

When caring for others isn't counterbalanced with a strong sense of who you are—someone with your own needs and limitations—you can over-rely on other people's compasses for your own trajectories and sense of purpose.  “Earth” people can fall prey to these psychological imbalances and need to practice certain things to avoid getting caught up in codependent loops with others.

Self-Care

Are you making sure you don't burn yourself out over-giving?

Making a regular practice of slowing down, soothing yourself, and checking in with what you really need is very important for an Earth person to learn.  Only say yes to the things that are truly okay for you.  Say no to everything else.  If you don’t know what your limits are, start paying attention to your body.  Our body talks and when we pay attention to our tight shoulders, upset stomach, and unease in our body you begin to recognize what feels bad and what feels good. It’s important to recognize your own needs and values and what you feel uncomfortable or comfortable doing?  Use your awareness to recognize when you've gone too far in putting others first, and then try something new. I like to tell my Earth clients, be like you are told to do on an airplane, put your own oxygen mask on first and then you will be able to help others. 

Stop judging yourself

Don't judge or berate yourself.  Self-judgment undermines our ability to love ourselves and others. We all judge and measure each other by our own standards.  Accepting this goes a long way in understanding others.  Many of us adopt our own internal yardstick not through conscious choice but through the shaming we were subjected to.  Forgive your wrongs with a heart that wants to manifest more right.   

As your own judge, learn to do so with compassion and a mindset for evolution.  Always find things to celebrate in yourself.  Seek thoughts that align with love for you. 

Let go of the "fix it" mentality 

Earth people’s natural instincts, in most cases, is to offer solutions when we see people in pain, sometimes giving advice that only makes us feel better. 

Practice instead being there to listen only. The process of moving through pain is individual, and the only way past it is to sometimes have to sit with it.

Release attachment to outcome

Releasing attachment to outcome requires a willingness to tolerate the unknown and live with uncertainty. Part of what maintains the cycle of codependent behavior is the fear of disappointing someone whose opinion matters to you, or of being "disliked." Releasing outcome simply means learning to tolerate the possibility of disappointing others that are important in your life. Remind yourself that your worth and value don't rest on making others happy. When you start worrying about how others perceive you or what they think of something you said or did, remind yourself you have no control over what happens in other people's minds. Trust people to find their own way and resolve their own challenges. Your own goodness shines through, even when you disappoint people.

Acquire healthy boundaries

Healthy “Physical” boundaries are being able to let people know that you don’t want to be touched or that you need more space. 

It is also OK to say that you are hungry or that you need rest.

Heathy “Time” boundaries are recognizing that your time is valuable, and it’s important to protect how it is utilized. 

Setting time boundaries means understanding your priorities and setting aside enough time for the many areas of your life without overcommitting.  When you understand your priorities, it is much easier to limit the amount of time you are giving to other people.

Healthy “Emotional” boundaries include limiting emotional sharing with people who may respond poorly.  We can fall into the trap of sharing inappropriate emotional information with our children, bosses, partners, and friends. It’s important to not emotionally dump on someone. Off-loading our internal troubles can be done through healthy exercise, taking a time out, walking in nature, journaling, meditation or try Donna Eden’s “Blow Out” energy medicine exercise. 

Healthy “Intellectual” Boundaries is being able to recognize between healthy and unhealthy discourse. 

If someone is sharing an opinion that is inherently harmful—i.e., prejudices, racism, sexism, body shaming, etc.—then you have every right to put a hard line in the sand. 

You do not have to have "intellectual" discourse with someone who is violating you or other people.

Healthy “Material” boundaries are understanding what you can and cannot share and how you expect your items and materials to be treated by the people you share them with.

Having limits on how your material items are treated is healthy and prevents resentment over time. 

Do a daily loving kindness meditation

This is a powerful tool to help you experience forgiveness and compassion for yourself, those you know, and even those you don't. 

Offering love and forgiveness to those who may not seem to 'deserve' it is one of the most transformational choices you can make in your life.

Fall in love with your community

As you're untangling yourself from codependency, a support network is essential to help express the fullest expression of who you are.  For interdependency to take place, you need to dedicate time and energy to all the different versions of love that exist in your life: community, familial, platonic, artistic, etc.

Since we're heading into Fall, this is the best time to take advantage of the natural Earth season’s influence and give back to ourselves.  Enjoy the season and make it a late summer full of self-love and self-care.  When your Earth Chi is strong, you are able to take good care of yourself and others. It encourages clear thoughts and a capacity to create a peaceful atmosphere in both our inner and outer world.  

Earth-types are in-balance when they create a safe, secure and enriching environment with a steady hand and loving touch.  Whether you are in or out-of-balance as an Earth type, feel gratified by your Earth Mother archetype and reach for her wondrous qualities of composure and serenity when you feel unsure. Ask yourself, “What would the Earth Mother do?”

 Love Becca